Most every evening we get a little push back around bath time..."Daddy, I'm not dirty..." "Daddy...we just took a shower last night..." "Daddy...I don't want to..."
And the dance goes on for a moment. With the requisite fussing and the disdain and the disinterest in cleanliness. And a rising level of frustration among all parties.
But one night The Beautiful Bride had the most amazing thought...
After we give the the call to tub, and begin to hear the girls give their typical chorus of "the top reasons I do not need to clean myself tonight" our new quick and easy reply is "Well then just smell your sister's feet...OK, how do they smell?"
The reply is always, "Yuck....they are nasty..." "To which we can say, "Right, and she took a shower last night just like you, so you can just imagine that your feet are equally funky. Go hop in the tub."
And they are left in an indefensible position. Brilliant.
It is this sort of brilliance (along with her accompanying hotness) why I begged the The Beautiful Bride to marry me....
From a recent conversation with one of the girls...following a "neglecting to tell the truth" incident....
Me So whatever you do you must always, always, always, always tell the truth.
Me Because if you don't then people will have a hard time being your friend.
Her I know.
Me So more than almost anything else in the whole world, you have to tell the truth about everything.
Me Cause even if you do something that you think is wrong and don't want Mommy and Daddy to find out, it will end up being even worse if you lie about it.
Me So, what's the most important thing?
Her To always tell the truth.
Me That's right. Now run up to your room, get your pj's on and hop in bed. Because we need to get to sleep on time with your tooth under your pillow so the tooth fairy can come tonight. Always, always, always tell the truth....sighhh.....what's a Dad to do?
We've had some friends recently have their third child, actually several couples recently had added number three to their families. And since the Beautiful Bride and I were a few exits further down that domestic road, we were asked by many of them how going from two kids to three, compared to going from one to two.
For us, it was no comparison - going from two to three was much, much harder.
To break it down to its most simple form, you go from playing man-to-man to playing zone defense.
The analogy I always use was this.
"Just imagine a few years from now and all your family (now self-mobilizing) head to Wal-Mart for a Saturday morning outing...only after, of course, you have carted and carpooled the family and a gaggle of others to soccer and karate and swimming and dance and blah, blah, blah...
After all that trekking around suburbia, you are at Wal-Mart to buy a present for one of the kids to take to a birthday party that afternoon. All is well walking into the store, perhaps a slight disruption when everyone wants to get on the quarter-operated Elmo helicopter ride, and you proceed into the store.
Just after you make it in the store and as the blaze of retail cacophony dulls your senses momentarily, all three kids decide, for some still unknown reason, to take off in different directions. For the sake of our illustration, child number one heads toward the toys, the second veers toward the Icee machine, and the sweet baby, oh that angel makes a beeline for the candy aisle.
And as you stand there with your spouse, thinking 'what did we do wrong?'...the "big question for the ages" pops into your head...
"which two do we go after and which one do we let
get picked up by a funny looking guy in a blue vest?"
This is the essence of moving from two to three. There will be times when the two of you cannot read a different book to all three at the same time, say prayers with all three at the same time, listen to the three differing sides of an argument.
This was(and is) the hardest part. It is not that I love any of the three any less...now there may be moments when I find them a bit less lovable...but it is in managing the intricacies of a "zone defense" that I really learned how hard it is to be a Dad.
To my friends,the best advice I can give is to get some "comfortable shoes" as you will be running for your life. But it will be amazing fun.
It was one of those "good news, bad news" kind of deals with our cheeky new coffee mug from Great Wolf Lodge. Turns out the mug got broken into two pieces during transit back to the AtwoodZoo.
So in her desire to be helpful, Mabel decided to super-glue the two pieces back together. The good news is that the two pieces are absolutely back together. The bad news is that the two pieces are also absolutely glued to the counter top. Seems that Mabel has not quite got "little dab will do you" concept down.
I have been saying for years that the key to success in life is to "Marry way over your head and pray she never figures it out."
It seems that scientists have just figured this out. Because in the most recent Journal of Family Psychology they report that "In couples where the wife is more attractive, both partners tended to be very content."
So according to this study, I must be the happiest man in the world because The Beautiful Bride is...well...beautiful...and I am 'content.'
(and yes I know that I am sucking up here...just something us less attractive men have to do...)